I have a strong faith in my God

 Well Hello Ladies

Well We finally got to do our second IVF in September till October 12th. sadly we never made it to transfer. When I'm strong enough emotionally I will write more about that latter.

As you can guess Wednesday, Thursday and Friday have been some pretty hard and dark days. We have leaned on God, our family, friends and my twitter girls for strength and encouragement. This being our last attempt to do a IVF cycle. I was gutted. I have gone threw all the emotions I didn't know I would feel. But some I could see coming.

I was ready to give it all up.. evening trying to convince my husband that I needed a Garage sale today. right now get all of the baby things out of our home! But all along since we have been trying to make a baby. (it will be four years in December) I have always told God I want his will to be done. The past three days.. I just kept praying and asking for God to just take it take it all... get all of this IVF TTC talk away, out make me, me again.

Well tonight I was fixing dinner for Matt and I while Lillian played... I had left my lap top open and walked away like I often do. Well My aunt that lives Idaho sent me a message. She is tells me that she is wanting to foster care a young man threw a placement group in Idaho(again she has done it for many years). She also tells me she saw a little boy whom is 8 months old with some special needs that is ready to be placed. My aunt did not to my knowledge know about what had just happened to us.  My breath was taken away first by the little boys beautiful face and page written about him, that she directed me to. But Then I thought how did she know... HOW DID SHE KNOW?

Latter as dinner is ready with help from Dinner by Designee. Matt and I sit down for a nice meal. I told him about what my aunt had sent me. How I felt, told him of how beautiful his soul looked threw his big BLUE eyes. Matt begins to tell me a story that some were down the line one of Matt's closest friends family members did IVF and are super pregnant and everything is going well. I surprisingly didn't get my Stephanie attitude that I normally would get under my breath "ohh great for them" But instead I listened to the rest of what Matt had to say. This couple has a LOT of embryos left (how many is a lot I have no clue) they are wanting to adopt the embryos to someone that WANTS THEM (oh oh oh ME ME ME PICK ME);)
I guess Matt's friend wanted to tell Matt the story last Friday but did not know were our egg retrieval would go, and how it would make hime feel. But he told him he would be willing to share the story now if he was willing to listen. So they talked about how it has been the past few days etc. Matt tells him to find out more info for us and pass it along and we will talk about it.

We still have my What the hell happened appointment on Thursday and we plan on taking our time and really talking with Doctor Colver. About what we can do, how we feel, tell him how much we love him and his nurse etc.

I feel as if God has sent this all to me for a reason. I'm not saying its our miracle #2 or that anything can happen from any of it! But I truly feel that God is the only reason anything happens. I feel he loves me and has the lead. Come what may tonight in the span of 30 minuets God has restored my Hope in having another baby.

I am so very thankful for My wonderful husband my world, our beautiful baby girl, our mothers, and all family members  our friends, and my twitter bodyguards;) You all mean so much to me!! Thank you  all!!