Every night I pray.. lastnight I prayed

Every night I pray I pray for a lot of things. But last nights prayer involved me ask/ tell God I know that we have all been working hard on getting me my update. God I need a sign I need to know if Cody's Mom will be sending me a update or not. Knowing good and well while praying this that I could not be getting an update at all.

Well this am I got up, took my thyroid pill, fed the pup, let him out, got Lillian out of her pile of stuffed animals she slept on and made her breakfast. When Lillian was eating I started a load of laundry. Nothing special just an average morning at my house. After I started a load of whites I  was caring  the empty basket to my closet, but I got stopped in my tracks from a phone call. I said to Matt "be Kirsh and Kirsh be Kirsh and Kirsh".

As I picked up the phone I heard a VERY familiar voice.. " Hello this is Steve Kirsh is this Stephanie"? I was SHOCKED our lawyer was calling ME! I said "Yes this is her, Hello Steve" He then goes on to tell me that he spoke (finally) with Cody's mom. He also tell's me that he had to do some digging/ research to find their home number. If you recall Cody's mother has been with holding their home phone number. Come to find out it looks as if both of Cody's parents are retired and have other jobs now. This is were the conversation got real real interesting. Steve spoke with Cody's Mom asking that we had been in contact with her in January for an update and wanted to know where it was. She tells him that this up date is just a courteous update.. Steve's answer to that was what do you mean? "Well after the age of 5 my obligation to send update's is up" Steve was not happy with this comment. "Yes you are correct" "I guess it is a courteous if that is what you want to call it" I could tell in the tone of Steve's voice he was so not happy with her. He later asks her why she hasn't sent the update any way..? She tell's him she has been working 6 day's a week. This is where Steve should pull out super lawyer cape..." That isn't a excuse". He goes on to ask when " Stephanie should be expecting her up date"? She latter tell's him she will try to get it out by the end of the week.

Steve doesn't have much hope in his voice at this point to think she will do it at all! But many many times Steve told me in our conversation that he is very disappointed in them and their actions. I told him they have changed so much in the 8 years that I picked them to be my son's parents.. I don't even know them any more.

At this point I'm not surprised by what was said. But what does make me the most mad is Cody's mother is not thinking of me or I feel Cody. It feels like she is making strong strides to keep us apart. It is hart breaking to feel that way. I gave you MY life, my heart, my ALL. Everything I HAD in the WORLD. To be latter treated like last weeks trash and tossed to the curb. I'm not trash. I'm his Birth mother. If she doesn't think I should be able to see him, Then my heart and I know WE MADE THE WRONG CHOICE. Words cant explain how much that boy means to me. I will do what it takes to see him. (abiding the law of course)

BUT I have said it once I will say it a million times I have the best representation ever. I thank God so much for sending me Kirsh and Kirsh to help guide me and teach me what REAL adoption professionals do!

We will see what this story/conversation brings us. I'm hoping and praying for the best! But God sure did give me a sign a large sparkley sign with my name on it.

On a happy note I had my thyroid tested again for our next IVF and it is doing well!:) Way to go little engine that could!
 please comment and let me know what you think!

Loads of love and Thank you for reading
Stephanie