Im a praying woman

 Im a praying woman. I always have had a strong faith in God! I pay every night before I go to bed.
But Sometimes I wonder if my prayers are what God wants to hear. "Dear God I know its not the most important thing in th world in general but if it is your will can we please become pregnant" I also pray for other things of course not just a baby.  Sick family and friends, our baby girl, our friends etc. But praying for a pregnancy makes me feel guilty and I don't know why!?


With our daughters adoption I always prayed for birth mothers and there families before we got matched with our daughters birth mother. Once we met her and her family I always prayed for it to be God's will for this baby.  Which I felt was not selfish of me to do. So why is it now that I feel selfish for praying that we will become pregnant?! I pray for everyone else trying to become parents too! But I just  cant shake this selfish feel with my prayers.


Last night my husband and I got on the subject of becoming pregnant. He told me he wants us to be pregnant more than anything, but doesn't know if God wants it for us at the moment. "maybe we aren't ready for more children yet"  "We are so blessed with our little girl" Which I totally agree with. ( any one that knows her/us knows this to be true) But I sort of got upset with my husband... What why would you say that? We are ready!  What if your thinking that keeps it from happening. I never can stay mad at that handsome man..So then I prayed about it and everything else that I felt God needed to hear from me for the day.

When I woke up this morning (still felling sick, I have felt sick for a while)  I know that we both do want to become pregnant and have a larger family. When and if God decides we are ready he will put another baby in our hands. May it be threw IVF,another adoption many years down the road or a miracle baby. But my heart still wants to grow a baby in my womb. I will never stop wanting it or praying for it! I think that that guilty feeling is starting to go away. God works in many ways.  My God is a faithful God!

(Picture from my daughters baptism July  2009) Im still so in love with this little girl