As I am a birth mother my self and a mommy threw adoption, I often get looks of confusion and wonderment. I'm guessing people get confused at my placement and then adoption. But it is no longer about me any more. It is now about my two children, and their parents in my heart. But the one person I think of most after my two angels would be my daughters birth mother.
When we adopted Lillian we asked for photos of her birth mother. We wanted Lillian to always know what her mother looks like and where she came from. Lillian's mother has quite a few siblings, I got the pleasure to meet them and get pictures of them also. I am so grateful for their giving hearts. I think and pray about Lillian's mother every day. I once "spoke" with a twitter friend as to how my heart felt after Lillian was placed with us. My heart broke for her. Just as any mother that adopted would for her child's birth mother. I have felt the same pain in my own heart. I for the longest time I didn't like what I did to someone ells. I was mad at my self for allowing another "Birth mother friend" to feel the same pain.
But now as Lillian is 18 months old I now wonder how her day to day life is. How is her heart, has it started healing or is it a open wound, praying for a salt-less life. We have since the adoption became friends with one another on Facebook. I see she seems so happy with her new life and love. I cant help but to worry and pray for her. I may never know how she truly feels. I know she can see pictures and read how Lillian is doing any time she wants. I feel it may hurt or make her feel better. But Im glad she has the opportunity to do such a thing.
But I hope and pray that in her life she still feels like she can lean on her family for strength. I feel like being available to her to see pictures of Lillian is the best thing I can do. Every Birth mother is different. BUT every Birth mother loves their child. I hold Lillian's Birth mother at the highest regard in my life. I can never love her to much or thank her enough! We love you Lillian's tinny little (short and slim) Birth Mother! <3
We are pretty new to the adoption stuff, but one thing has really irked me so far when it comes to the comments of other people. We've people tell us, "It's so nice of you to want to take in a baby who isn't loved!" I always make a point to correct them and clarify that 1) we aren't doing this for sainthood and 2) that baby is SO loved. He or she will be more loved than any other child because that baby will have more than two parents who love him/her. I think it's unfair for people to assume that birth parents don't love their children. Unfair and ignorant.
ReplyDeleteLillian is beautiful, by the way. <3